


Darkened Hearts and Shattered Souls

by confusednerdling



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: All Magic Comes With a Price, F/F, Mentions of Past with Leopold, Nightmares, Swan-Mills Family, swanqueen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-11
Updated: 2015-12-14
Packaged: 2018-05-06 02:28:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5399429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/confusednerdling/pseuds/confusednerdling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma Swan and Regina Mills are officially friends - sort of. However, things change when Regina’s dark heart and magic finally catch up with her. Soon, the darkness begins to corrupt her heart and mind. Regina must now deal with reliving memories of the past, terrible nightmares, voices in her head, and other terrible afflictions. It’s up to Emma to get her Regina back and stop the darkness or, at the very least, allow her to have the greatest time of her life before she's dead. </p><p>(Based off of the events of 4B and Rumple’s dark heart, I wondered what would happen if all Regina’s darkness caught up with her and held affects to her health like what occurred with Rumple. Except with more effects to her.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Blackened Soul

Emma Swan and Regina Mills were close - They could even call each other “friends” without hysterically laughing aloud or cringing. Of course, Emma rarely called the former queen this in fear of a fireball or a sassy one-liner that would just leave Emma staying up late pondering comebacks that she could have used when the moment occurred. Still, they were friends. And like friends do, they had a list of activities they shared with one another that was growing ever so slowly. They ate lunch at Granny’s on multiple occasions and always had dinner as a small family with Henry and sometimes the Charmings, if Regina was in a good mood, on Sundays. Sometimes, they would take a walk with Henry or the sheriff would find some reason to show up at Regina’s office and wreck a little havoc in the brunette's detailed and meticulous schedule - Something Regina at first hated, but now tolerated it with amusement always on the verge of showing on her lips. So, yes, they were friends.

Emma figured it to be a simple concept - friendship - but nothing with Regina Mills was ever simple. And the day it got complicated was their eighth Sunday dinner.

Emma came over earlier than her parents like she always did. They had gone a week without seeing one another due to Regina’s busy job, so Emma decided to put something nice on that would ensure an invitation to come back next week. Dressed in her red leather jacket over a simple light blouse and jeans, she felt almost overdressed and wished she brought a flannel or a grey tee but all her insecurities left the moment Regina opened the door. Wearing a black dress that hugged her body in all the right places and seemed to have been crafted specifically for her, the older woman looked amazing. However, she was paler than the last time Emma had seen her and her posture was strange - shoulders rolled back and hands behind her back rather than on her hips, like they sometimes were, or at her side. She seemed bonier and thinner as well, like in the single week of space from one another she had forgotten to eat. 

Emma tried to warp her concern to look of cheer, but it must have came out as a pained grimace because she received a strange look from Regina. 

“Well, dear? You coming in?”  
Emma grinned easily. She couldn’t entirely hide her worry but she decided to tuck it away in the back of her mind to dwell on later. 

She followed Regina in and watched as her hands moved, always hidden from Emma's vision. She would have called her out on it in curiosity, but the familiar sound of her name being shouted from upstairs in such a frantic and joyful tone distracted her. 

“Ma!” 

“Kid,” she greeted him, endearingly. “How are you?”

He thought for a moment. His face contorted in a second, showcasing various emotions. “I’m alright,” he answered. His eyes drifted to Regina but shot back up to Emma’s in a hurried fashion. The jerking of eyes was such a quick motion that the blonde would have missed it if she wasn’t intently staring at him.

“What? What’s wrong? Is it Gina?” she whispered, leaning closely in with her green eyes wide. 

“Mom is… I don’t know…” Henry puckered his lip. “She doesn’t seem the same… Could you tell?”

“Of course,” Emma scoffed. “Did you forget that I’m the sheriff, kid?”

He shook his head. “It’s just… I don’t know what it is exactly, but something isn’t right. I don’t think she’s feeling really good,”

They spoke in low whispers careful not to raise attention and when it became clear Henry was no longer comfortable disclosing information about his adoptive mother with her being so close, they moved to the living room to play video games. Emma could definitely tell she had an impact on the Mills household as now a shiny new PlayStation 4 was kept near the flat screen. She made a silent promise to herself to play video games with Regina. She figured it may be entertaining to watch her nose scrunch up as she jammed buttons and screamed in frustration or chuckled with laughter after defeating a hard boss. 

“Emma. I require assistance in the kitchen please,” a loud voice said in a calm tone that didn’t let the two register the urgency of the situation. They came in - Henry first with a familiar charming smile and Emma following closely behind nonchalantly. 

Emma, without thinking, hopped on top of the counter with her legs crossed. “Yeah, what’s up?”

The brunette's eyes narrowed on her and she slid of rather awkwardly while Henry stifled laughter. He found the concept of how much control Regina had over Emma without even uttering a single word hilarious. The former queen smirked, pleased with herself, and motioned to the oven with her chin. “I need you to take out the lasagna,” she said in a clear and confident voice that was most definitely faked. 

Emma raised an eyebrow in confusion. “I’m sorry. You can summon fireballs with your hands, but you’re scared of getting burned?” she chuckled incredulous and a lopsided grin found its way to her face. “Or are you just lazy?”

Regina’s eyes lightened with fury that slowly calmed with each word. “I am not scared or lazy, for that matter! I just happen to be lacking the necessary…skills…to take it out without, well, dropping it,” Her whole body tensed as if she was mentally kicking herself for asking help of Emma. 

“Um, alright, Your Majesty,”

Regina rolled her eyes while the supposed Savior stalked forward, swung the oven door open, and pulled out the dish with thick white kitchen gloves. She was sure if she did get burned, Regina would heal her in a heartbeat, but just because she could get healed didn’t mean she wouldn't necessarily get hurt. 

She placed it carefully on the counter and watched Regina smile slowly, approving how the dish appeared. 

“Thank you,” she murmured. Her rich brown eyes shot skywards to Emma self-consciously. 

Henry gazed at the two wearily and decided it was time to give the two some much needed space. “I'll be in my room!” he called out, leaving his two mothers to themselves.

“Smart, kid,”

“Of course. We did a great job raising him,” Emma blushed at the mention of “we”. 

She thought for a long moment. There was multiple ways to handle the situation. She could corner her into admitting the truth, she could ignore the entire situation altogether, or she could just ask nicely. The latter was not exactly her go-to move when it came to Regina, because she never was sure what answer she'd get back. Thankfully her "superpower" kept her from getting duped, but it still hurt when she realized the former queen had lied to her. Asking her nicely would prove their friendship, Emma rationalized in her head. If Regina was truthful, they were surely friends in Emma's mind. Maybe she was doing so because she was scared of losing the other woman if she was too blunt or, perhaps, scared of hurting her anymore than she already had been, but against her better nature of abrupt accusations and a knack for pointing out the elephant in the room assertively, she asked in a kind and sympathetic voice, “Gina, what's, uh, going on?”

Regina looked at her in confusion, wishing for an elaboration which the blonde offered up apprehensively. 

“Well, you've been acting weird,”

The former queen’s mouth opened and slammed shut instantly. Such words of vulnerability were still unsettling to her. Despite the time where she believed love to be weakness had passed and the time where she did was nothing but memories that took the form of pale scars on her olive skin, she still flinched at the notion of her expressing a form of weakness she had been hiding. 

Instead of saying anything on the matter, Regina plastered a smile that was all too familiar on her lips. It was one she wore on Snow White’s birthdays, one she wore on nights where she had to stand side by side with Lionel and pretend the bruises underneath her dress weren’t stinging with shame and disgust, one she wore on days where she had to be strong when she desperately knew she was weak and… Her thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of her bell and she snapped back into reality. For the first time, she noticed how Emma’s smile was no longer cheery but full of pain as if she could see all the memories that flickered behind her brown eyes. 

“Oh, Regina - “ It was almost a whine and so full of sympathy and pity Regina needed to escape the room. It was all so suffocating, wrapping itself around her throat, and cutting her breathing off. The effect reminded her of her mother and she felt the need to touch her neck, to see if her mother’s magic still lingered on her skin. 

She cleared her throat. “Excuse me, there’s someone at my door,” And she rushed out.

\----

When the Charmings entered the house, dopey smiles that were filled with naivety and optimism that Regina could never obtain, she felt something stir in the back of her mind. It was something that had laid dormant for a while, but something that was active and bloodthirsty when she was known as the Evil Queen. 

_Kill her. Kill Snow White._ Her thoughts screamed, but they weren’t her thoughts. They were warped and contorted. _She killed Daniel! Kill her! KILL HER!_

“Regina, honey? Are you alright?” Mary Margaret asked in a perfectly sweet voice. She was standing a safe distance away from her with a hand, protectively, wrapped around her husband’s arm. His own arm was itching to grab the weapon he undoubtedly hid on his belt and under his coat. 

The older woman blinked repeatedly in confusion, forcing the scowl off her face. “Hm?” And for a terrible moment, Regina thought they all could hear the voices in her head - the darkness corrupting her thoughts. She realized, horrified, in an instant why the Charmings seemed so distressed. She had balled up her fists, unknowingly, at her side. Now, a thick stream of purple smoke was circling them. She cleared her throat again and the smoke dissipated. 

“My apologies,” David didn’t seem too certain but nodded and held to his wife possessively as if he thought Regina may try to rip her away from him. “I was deep in thought,” She gazed towards the stairs and returned her eyes on Mary Margaret. She found the woman much more tolerable than her husband at times, because looking at her reminded her of the good of the past and the bad all at once. It was all grey. She realized that now. Perhaps, if she came to that conclusion when she was becoming the Evil Queen that everyone in the small town just _loved_ to mention, then she wouldn't have gone evil at all. She played with the idea when the pains in her chest were so great tears formed. She wondered if she would have this family that she had come to...enjoy, in a sense. Her thoughts left in a hurry as she realized how awkward she was being just staring aimlessly at them while the couple stared back, almost prepared to fight with a certain glint in their eyes that was all together _incredibly_ familiar. “Please, please. Come in. Your daughter was just helping me prepare,”

“Emma’s already here?”

Regina nodded. 

“Hm, she certainly does love her food,” the short haired woman mused. She gazed at her husband and watched as he visibly let go of the stress in his shoulders, realizing Regina was no threat to his precious happy ending. 

_Kill him. Kill him too. Kill him. Make Snow suffer. Make the Savior suffer. Get your revenge._

“Well then, shall we eat?” A grin never left her lips. And Snow followed her thinking at how familiar that smile was.  
\----

The entire meal was awfully peaceful. Emma had been used to the chaos that usually occurred as she filled her face with whatever Regina made. Normally, her mother and Regina would debate on memories of the past (“No, no, no! I certainly did not attend that ball!” “Nope, I’m pretty sure I remember you there,” “I hate balls,” “What? How could you hate my birthday ball?” “I didn’t even go! I was...held up for a bit,” “Oh… Right. Well, did you go to the one for King Midas?”) or squabbling about decorations (“One poster of birds!” “Absolutely not,” “Please?” “No!” “Please?” “No! I will not have my office be turned into your personal coloring book. It’s perfect as it is!” “I don’t know…” “What did you just say, dear?” “Hm? Me? Nothing!”) or even offering up unneeded tips as the two were opinionated mothers at heart (“The lasagna is a bit dry,” “Mary Margaret?” “Yes, Regina?” “Remember those times I tried to kill you…” “Alright, alright. I’m sorry,”). However, this meal had none of the interesting bits that helped Emma learn more about her mother from listening or helped her in her quest to gather bits and pieces of information about Regina, though what she had currently wasn’t a lot. Instead, the dinner had stilted conversations. Her mother and her father were boasting about their youngest child, Emma’s brother. Henry spoke of school and Emma told stories about her week of work and whenever someone spoke to Regina directly, she’d offer a fake smile and speak almost robotically like she had planned her response and perfected it in front of one of her mirrors.

Emma wanted to reach over and grab her hand and squeeze. She wanted to let Regina know that she knew something was wrong and that she cared, but no gesture seemed good enough to do so. And so, the blonde watched concerned as Regina simply moved her food around and didn’t even lift her fork once to her lips. She watched as Regina’s face frequently went from feigned interest in the topic at hand to a complete blank expression like something had stolen her attention in that head of hers. She watched as Regina’s hands shook and Emma realized her fear of taking the lasagna out had not been out of the concern that she would be burned but out of the concern that she could drop it judging by how much her palms trembled. She didn’t want to ruin the family meal. Emma felt her chest swell in affection. Regina actually did care. And Emma cared too. 

Emma knew this concern was strange since they used to be enemies, but they were good friends now. Both had made huge strides to prove so and without some villain, popping out of the woodwork to wreak chaos for something Regina and Emma were undoubtedly a part of, to dwell on, they were able to focus on their relationship. They were able to focus on Henry. They were able to focus on fixing up the little family they both had desperately always wanted. 

They all stood up, bringing their plates to the kitchen. It was their way of helping out and judging by how pale Regina appeared, she seemed to need it. Emma wondered absentmindedly how long she would wait before confronting Regina on her health when she heard the clatter of plates smashing against the floor behind her. She whipped her head around to see Regina hunched forward, clutching her chest and hissing in pain. 

“Oh my God! Regina?! You okay?” she found herself screaming as she wrapped her arm around the woman, holding her up. 

“M-My… My heart,” she managed to whisper before she was out cold.


	2. Healing Hearts

“Are you an idiot?!”

“I'm pretty sure that's my line, Miss Swan,” Regina murmured weakly. She had been under the watchful (and slightly unnerving) high of Dr. Whale for the past week but only now was Emma able to speak to a conscious Regina.

In all honesty, Regina had been awake on the all days when Emma visited, but the moment she smelt cinnamon she feigned exhaustion and let darkness consume her vision. She was too tired for any fighting. Too tired for anything really and the chest pains weren't the worst of it. 

“You knew,”

“I knew what?” Regina wrinkled up her nose. “I know a great deal, dear. You're going to have to be specific,”

“You knew you were, like, sick or something!”

“‘Sick or something?” the older woman chuckled. “Please, I -”

“No! No changing the subject!” Emma cut her off in a vicious voice. It was unlike her really but she had felt so powerless this weak. She needed control. She balled up her fists and held them close to her. “I thought…”

“What?” 

“I thought we were friends!”

Regina looked rather taken aback. Quickly, a hard mask slid across her features. “I wasn't aware that friendship with you required me to enclose all my personal information,” Her eyes narrowed, taking pleasure in how flustered the blonde appeared. But her face twisted in a second with a rage and disgust that had been hidden under layers and layers of fake confidence, sassy comments, leather, apples, magic, and dark hair. The woman leaned forward and screamed defiantly, “I don't belong to you!”

Emma frowned, tilting her head. Her words were no longer full of anger but were soft and gentle. “Regina, you don't…” Her brows furrowed even more. “Regina?” The brunette’s dark eyes were staring right through her as if there was another presence in the room. Emma whipped her head around but she was the only visitor. “Regina?” she repeated with clear urgency. “Regina?! Snap out of it!”

“I don't belong to you,” the other woman repeated but it came out as more of a whisper like it was a secret that the mayor kept with her to keep herself sane. Emma could practically feel her heart breaking. 

“Regina?”

There was silence but soon the woman’s attention was on a set of green eyes. “Emma?”

Her first name sounded incredibly good on the former queen's lips for some reasons “You good?” she inquired. 

The other woman seemed confused, rubbing her head gently. “Um, yes. I believe I am. I must have blacked out… I…”

“Why didn't you tell me you were sick?”

Regina thought for a moment. The answer was one she, herself, was searching for. “I don't know, dear. I suppose I didn't want to be a burden but it was inevitable you'd discover...my heart condition,” She sighed exasperated. Emma bit into her lip. She knew there was more but the brunette seemed tired and in need of some sleep.

She placed a hand on the bed, touching Regina’s leg that was hidden underneath the white blankets and patted it gently. “Get some rest, Your Majesty,”

Regina obeyed her, pulling her covers up before muttering, “You are such an idiot, Miss Swan,”

“You’re right,” Emma smirked. “That definitely your line,” 

\----

“So like a magical heart attack?” 

“Well, basically the darkness is acting as a poison in a sense that's not only messing with her heart but her head,” Whale explained hesitantly. Magic and science never usually saw eye-to-eye and so coming up with a diagnosis to a magical driven issue was always tricky. “All magic comes with a price, Gold always says. Maybe the price is her life but first her sanity?”

Emma rolled her fist around her temple, messaging her own head. All she wanted to do was help her. All she wanted to do was have some control of this awful situation. 

“So magical heart attack and magical insanity,”

“She isn't insane,”

“Well, then, what do you call a person who just blacked out and was reliving a memory like it was present day…”

Whale shifted his weight comfortably. “I'll call Gold. I know he's a bit of a fan of Regina. He may know the magic side much better than me,” He took a deep breath. “Her body has suffered a lot. She did have a heart attack and now the muscle seems very, very weak. This can be easily fixed with some medication or, I guess, light magic, if you want to heal the muscle. You won’t be healing and stopping the dark magic swirling up in there, but you’ll fix her heart from stopping in the middle of the night when you’re sleeping,” He realized he was chuckling and immediately tensed and attempted to appear professional. “I believe she's unable to do any strenuous work. If her heart beats too fast, she could fall unconscious once more. Her brain seemed fine to me, but then again, I don't exactly know what the symptoms are for actual darkness corrupting the human body,”

“Gold had a similar...condition,” Emma whispered, suddenly feeling small. “He’ll help,”

“Hm, alright. Now, she's about ready to go home so I'm assuming she's staying with you?”

The thought had crossed her mind but an angry, sick Regina terrorizing the loft was not a good image. Her poor parents would certainly freak if the woman began to relive a memory from her Evil Queen days. No. It required someone with magic who could help in this situation. And that person was Emma.

“Yes, I'll be taking care of her but we'll be staying at her mansion,”

Whale smirked and nodded.

\----

Gold showed up quicker than Emma imagined in a puff of dark smoke and a scowl locked in place. It wasn’t that he was upset by Regina’s condition, but rather irritated that he had been bothered. He stalked forward and met Emma with a grumpy expression. 

“Is the witch finally dead?” he yawned, bored. 

“No, healed her heart up. She’s good for now, but the darkness is still there…” she frowned. “Wait, I thought you were friends?” 

“Hm, such is a complicated term,”

“Tell me about it,” Emma contemplated telling him more, but by his exasperated expression he already felt inconvenienced by the trip to the hospital. “Her heart - It’s almost entirely covered in darkness,”

He visibly flinched and Emma could tell that underneath his cold demeanor he really did care about his former apprentice. “Is she alright?” he asked with feigned disinterest. 

“For now,” the blonde paused. “I want to help her,”

“The Savior is now helping the villains out?”

“She isn’t a villain,”

Gold’s sneer was almost animal-like. “I know my monster,” 

Emma sighed, running her fingers through her blonde hair. Each lock was soft and delicate and she couldn’t help it when her mind drifted to Regina looking weaker than Emma had ever seen and being fragile and looking hot as Hell in that dress... She inhaled sharply. “What will it take for a cure? You know? To get rid of all that darkness?”

And at this, Gold laughed. A loud cackling laugh that was more Rumpelstiltskin than Mr. Gold and Emma wondered if their Enchanted Forest lives ever blended into their Storybrooke ones or maybe there was no difference. She wondered if Regina ever worried she was acting too queenly or worried the pain from the past would seep into the present. Knowing her, Emma figured she would. He was still laughing, now with hot tears in his eyes, when Emma returned to reality. 

“Oh, Miss Swan, there is no cure,”

And at this, Emma froze, horrified and scared and feeling more like a child than an adult in an instant. “What do…” She stumbled on her words. “What do you mean?”

“There's no cure! Had there been one, well, let's just say things would have been much easier,” he mused in an almost condescending voice. “The darkness will continue to cling to her body. It’ll affect her in ways that it could not affect me - being as _I_ was protected with my Dark One status. It’ll fog her mind. It’ll corrupt her thoughts. She may hear voices. Then, she’ll get sicker. She’ll get chest pains. She’ll blackout if her old ticker goes too fast or slow or whatnot. She’ll have nightmares. She’ll see flashes of the past and believe they are the present in her mind. And once, the darkness completely corrupts her heart - She’ll die. There will be nothing left of her. The darkness will entirely consume her body and she’ll turn to ash. You can’t stop it,” 

Emma tensed. The urge to punch Gold had never been greater. “There has to be - “

“There's absolutely nothing you can do,” he raised his head slightly so he appeared taller. “Just take care of her and make sure she gets to spend time with her son while she still can,”

Emma nodded glumly and watched Regina’s only hope march off. 

\----

Regina was feeling better by the time Emma returned two days later. There was word she was being released and with a prescription and a requirement to stray from any magic, Regina was out the door. The pain in her chest has dulled and her minor heart attack - if you could it that - has been healed by some light magic courtesy of Emma Swan. (“You've been practicing?” “Well, I mean, if you want to call it that…”) But just because the muscle was now working a tad better than before didn't mean the darkness had left her. It clung to her body and caused her to get lightheaded after simple actions, to hear thoughts urging her to slit Emma’s throat, and to get flashes off the past that were so intense, she felt like she was reliving it. 

She moved to the yellow Bug and slid in the passenger’s seat, awaiting Emma who came in a hurry. 

“I got coffee,”

“Caffeine is bad for my heart,”

Emma’s face mirrored one of a small child who had gotten terrible news about their pet. “Oh,” she mumbled, crestfallen. “I'm sorry,”

“I was joking, Swan. Do you not remember healing it?”

Emma shook her head and moved the mug away from Regina’s hand. “You shouldn’t… I shouldn’t have gotten it. It’s unsafe. Just because I healed you once doesn't mean you can’t have another heart attack,”

“I’m perfectly healthy,” Regina snapped defensively. 

“Tell that to your almost black heart,” 

The two stared at one another in silence as if both were silently debating whether Emma’s comment held true.

Regina closed her eyes tightly. She’s always been strong. She always makes her mother and father proud. And yet, for Emma, she allows herself, sometimes unwillingly, to be seen as weak. She doesn’t know if she should hate the blonde or congratulate her for chipping at Regina’s walls ever so slowly. She opened her eyes, her mouth opened to speak, and then she registered something hidden in the green eyes in front of her. Fear. Worry. Concern.

“Give me your hand,”

“What?”

“Miss Swan, give me your hand,” she repeated carefully and bit more demanding. Emma bit the inside of her cheek and, wearily, did as she was told. 

Regina grabbed Emma’s hand. It was calloused and tough, but in her hand, it was gentle. The same hand had been used to punch her. The same hand had been used to create magic to save her. And Regina, staring much too intently, at the blonde’s hand, realized that she felt strange. 

“Regina?”

“Hm?”

“You alright?”

“Yes, sorry…”

She raised Emma’s hand to her chest and placed it over her heart. Emma reddened at the contact and looked up in confusion as if wondering if her Regina was really here or she had confused Emma for Daniel in her mind or Robin or one of her past lovers. 

“Uh, Gina…”

“You feel that?”

She didn’t exactly know what Regina wanted her to feel. Was she supposed to feel hyper-aware of all the people stirring outside? Was she supposed to feel her heart pick up in speed or sweat to make her pals clammy? And so, she just nodded repeatedly and mumbled something incoherently. 

“That’s my heart, Emma,” she whispered. The usage of her first name did not go unnoticed to the Savior. 

“It’s going pretty fast,”

Regina rolled her eyes. “My heart is beating which means I’m alive. Right now, I’m alive, sitting in this terrible car, with you. Alive. Okay?”

“Okay,”

“Now, give me the coffee. I’m in desperate need of caffeine,” 

Emma smiled and obliged.


	3. Dark Eyes

The house on 108 Mifflin Street was not used to supplying shelter to three people. It was used to a lonely queen who hid behind its walls. It was used to a child whose imagination and humor was ever so charming. And now, it was getting used to a blonde Savior. 

Emma helped Regina, draping her arm around her, as they moved inside the house. While this action was hugely unnecessary, because Regina could walk fine, she enjoyed the feeling. It made her feel protective and safe. She only tore from her grip when she entered the kitchen, walking slower than she usually did. 

“Guest room is upstairs beside my room,” she notified her as she plucked an apple from the bowl on the island and, swiftly, took a bite. 

Emma’s brows raised. “You want, like, a sandwich or something instead of just an apple?”

Regina shook her as she scoffed, “Apples are a great source of - “

“Whatever,” the blonde pulled out her phone and pressed on her mother’s name. Her thumb hovered over the call button. She raised her head slightly to make eye contact, “I’m going to call Mary Margaret and have her bring some stuff over,”

“You’re staying here?”

“Well, someone has to take care of you,”

Emma tried to ignore the flash of hurt in the brunette's eyes. Perhaps it was the assumption that the Savior had gotten stuck with the role, but before Emma could say anything to stop the pain she intentionally caused Regina asked, “And Henry?” 

“He’s with my parents,”

Regina nodded. “Can Mary Margaret bring him over as well? I’d like to see him…”

Emma wanted to say no. He had been through quite a lot when he saw his mother collapse onto the shards of a broken plate. He had seen it all. He had seen Emma sprint towards Regina. He saw her wrap her arms around the broken woman and heal her quickly, without thinking, to stop the bleeding from her palms. He saw her angry and furious as they stormed into the hospital more like a hurricane than a family. He had seen her snap at Mary Margaret who requested she go home with Henry and get some rest. He had seen it all. But she couldn’t do that to Regina who appeared so hopeful and vulnerable in that one moment. It was as if she was asking permission rather than demanding to see her son - something that was new for the both of them. 

“Sure,” Emma said against her better nature. “He’d love to see you,” She wasn’t lying. The entire week and two days where Regina had been tucked away in the hospital, Emma was reminded that it was Regina who raised him. He was constantly shouting angrily and demanding to see his other mother. However no matter how much he shouted and commanded, Emma had to keep him away in fear of him witnessing something Regina would rather him not seeing. 

“ _But_ ,”

Regina visibly tensed. “Yes?”

“But are… But are you sure you want him around when, um, you got a lot of, um, darkness and…”

“I’m in control, Miss Swan. Don’t you forget it,” the brunette snapped, but her voice wavered as if the Savior had voiced some of her own fears. “I’ll be upstairs taking a shower. Make yourself at home like you usually do,” And like that, the former queen was gone. 

\----

Regina tore off the clothing off her body and moved in front of the mirror staring at herself, scrutinizing every aspect. There were scars that glistened from her skin that were pale and ugly. Some were thin lines, other curved and jagged, and some still stung at the touch as if she was receiving them once more. She saw it as a testament to how poor the doctors’ in the Enchanted Forest. She knew with a wave of her hand, she could make them all disappear, but she liked having them there. They reminded her of everything that happened. A scar to mark her disobedience given to her by Cora. A scar to mark her training with Rumple. She rubbed that one carefully, remembering when she couldn’t catch arrows as well as she could now. There were ones she had gotten from her time as Evil Queen. There were ones she had placed there herself. There were ones Leopold made with a single slap with his hand full of sharp rings. She closed her eyes tightly and waited a moment before the need to cry passed. Then, she stepped in shower and felt the cold water slip against her skin 

Locked away in her room, Regina couldn’t help but feel déjà vu over the whole ordeal except _this time_ she was in her room voluntarily. She changed her clothes into a black pantsuit that was comfortable and projected the right amount of professionalism that she wished to exhibit and made her way downstairs. 

“Regina,”

The older woman tensed immediately remembering that voice as it clung to her dreams and mind. She felt her heart fill with a coldness that reminded her of leather, the feeling of holding a heart in the palm of her hand, and an icy crown on her head. 

“Mary Margaret,” she forced a smile that came out much too pained. “What exactly are you doing here?”

“Dropping off Henry and some of Emma’s things,” the woman said in an overly chipper voice. She moved her hands to her hips with a proud beam. 

Regina straightened, uncomfortable. “Where exactly is Henry and your daughter now?”

“Outside playing catch. They’re very adorable,” 

“I can’t help but agree,” the mayor tilted her head slightly to catch the image of her son jumping high only to miss the baseball projected towards him by an inch and she couldn’t help but chuckle. His small face twisted into a pout and then Emma came to view. With a laugh that could not be heard from inside the manor, Emma placed two hands on their son’s shoulder and shook him gently. She must have been trying to raise his spirits and it undoubtedly worked as he pointed at something and winded up to throw the ball. Regina’s heart melted at the sight, but she couldn’t let her former nemesis see this so, instead, she cleared her throat and said, “Well, since you are here, do you care for a drink?”

And unfortunately, the woman nodded, pleased.

\----

Regina moved to the kitchen. Her high heels clacked as she walked and she placed herself in front of the sink. Emma must have been in her kitchen for in the sink laid a long, slender knife that was covered in specs of meat. She shook her head, annoyed, and rubbed a cloth against the blade.

 _For Daniel… Kill her._ The voice was still whispering, but it now dull, in the back of her mind. It was waiting, Regina figured, for the perfect moment to strike. 

“So how are things?” she inquired. Directly behind her, Snow White, the former princess, leaned against the island and tilted her head similar to the way a puppy would have. 

“Oh, with Charming? Fantastic. Baby Neal is great too,”

“Hm, I glad,”

The woman watched her with naivety blinding her vision as Regina spun on her heels, still clutching the knife, with a fake smile on her lips. “So you found your happy ending finally, hm, dear?” she asked with mock curiosity. 

“Yeah,” Snow gushed. “I have David, Neal, Emma, Henry, and, well, even you, Regina. You’ve really changed,” Her smile grew. “I’m glad we’re friends and able to put everything that happened in the past,”

Something snapped in Regina’s mind. Her brain filled with flashes of memories of, first, Cora crushing a heart, Snow White’s giddy laugh, arrows flying, screaming, fire… The voices now screamed in her skull. _Plunge the knife in her heart._ And something dark sparked in her brown eyes, something Snow could see instantly once it settled. 

Snow backed up, but she was already against the island. She felt the cold granite press hard against her skin as she tried to inch farther from the other woman, but there was no point. 

“ _‘Everything that happened’?_ Hm, have you forgotten his name? I surely haven’t,” She dropped the cloth onto the floor and took a step forward. The blade was the only thing keeping Snow stationary. 

A single tear fell down Snow’s face. “Regina, I… Henry and Emma are right outside…!”

Regina’s face distorted with confusion. She pushed the tip of blade gently against Snow’s throat. It wasn’t enough to shed blood, but enough to send the woman into a lethal combination of shock and fear. “My father and whom?” 

“Oh my God…” Snow’s eyes widened in shock. Tears dropped down her pale cheeks. “You don’t remember Henry… EMMA - !”

“Who is this Emma you speak of?” Regina demanded, but she whipped her head around to see a blonde woman with a bright jacket that seemed to absorb all the woman’s attention. 

“REGINA! Knife down!” 

“Y-Yes,” she stammered dropping it onto the floor and before she could say anything else, Henry ran in. 

He was sweaty with dirt and grass stains on his faded jeans. He had this smile that Regina could only describe as euphoric happiness. “What’s going…” His eyes followed from Emma’s sight on the knife laying on the tile to the close proximity of his brunette mother and grandmother. Both whom were shaking and the tension and the hostility was so overwhelming, it scared the smirk right off his face. “Mom, what’s happening?” 

“Nothing, kid. Go upstairs and change. You stink,” Emma forced out a chuckle. When all the adults were sure Henry was gone, they addressed the situation. “Regina, what the Hell?”

“I don’t… I’m s-sorry,” Regina mumbled, wiping her eyes the palms of her hands. 

“Regina, let’s - “ But before Emma could finish her sentence, the woman disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke. Snow glanced at her daughter wearily. 

“Are you alright?” the blonde asked carefully.

“I’m fine,”

“She just tried to kill you,”

Snow laughed nervously. “Not the first time,”

“Still…”

“Maybe, it’s best I don’t show my face for a bit… I seem to set her off… Remind her of our shared past,” 

Emma was silent for a moment. It felt that if she said anything it would be nothing less than a betrayal to the queen. Instead, she watched her mother internally debate with herself, wondering if she should bring up a topic neither wished to discuss much. 

Finally in the blonde’s silence, her mother spoke. Her voice was so soft and broken that each word felt like a jab to the stomach. “You care about her,”

Emma chuckled nervously, crossing her arms in front of her. “Yeah, I guess. She’s the mother to my - “ 

“No, honey… You _really_ care about her… I remember everything that night. When she fell and you held her in your arms… You looked like…”

“What?”

“You looked like someone had stolen your happy ending,” Snow pursed her lips together tightly. She shook her head gently as if by doing so she was sending the thoughts away. “Listen, I know… Things are complicated right now, but you need to...be honest with yourself. If you do have...feelings - “ Her face contorted with disgust at mentioning the single word. “ - then you need to address it. We don’t know how much time she has. Do you understand me?”

Emma nodded numbly. 

“Okay, then,” The woman rubbed her cheeks with her palms and moved towards the white door hesitantly. “Well, good luck, Emma. Call if you need to talk or...anything. Alright?”

“Alright, mom,”

The two women exchanged content looks. However, little did they know, a young teenage boy had been listening to their entire conversation.


	4. Missing Faces

Emma Swan draped in a red leather jacket and ripped up jeans, found herself in her yellow Bug driving all over town. For the first time, she noticed that _it did_ smell like fast food grease, like Regina once had stated. It was almost as if it had been poured on every surface inside the car making the smell suddenly too overwhelming for Emma. Perhaps she should clean it. If she did, Regina would finally shut up on the matter and would probably enjoy the Bug and all its beauty. She couldn't focus on that now. She had to find the missing woman and return her home.

The queen was nowhere to be seen in town. At first, Emma assumed she’d be in her office, curled up in a small ball and trying to regain her composure, but when she wasn’t there, Emma’s mind jumped to the next possible location - her vault. Except, she wasn’t there either. The entire vault was empty except for the dull beating hearts hidden in small boxes. Emma made a small mental note never to go back there alone. It was rather creepy and being there sent her own heart into a panic.

So now, Emma just drove aimlessly, looking around carefully for a sight of perfect brunette hair, dark eyes, or, Hell, even some purple magic. She now desperately wished she had learned that Tracker Spell that Regina kept gushing its importance about at dinner. She took a deep breath and kept moving. Somewhere, she’d find her. 

Things had always been complicated between the two, if Emma thought hard. Once Regina had been...somewhat a grumpy mess - an understatement to put it kindly - after her relationship with Robin Hood dissipated. She slept more, she ate much less, and she did nothing but stare absentmindedly into space so much that Emma had to intervene to avoid a total destruction of Regina’s sanity. Then, Emma was the one to go from good to awful all in one night after a particular fight with Hook that left their relationship in shambles. She could clearly remember returning to Regina’s door, tears pouring from the corners of her eyes, and mumbling the words, “I saved you. Now, you save me,” before Regina grabbed her and held her in a tight hug, uncharacteristically. She stayed at 108 Mifflin road, sleeping on Regina’s couch, until the tears and the self-wallowing ended. It seemed that the complications stemmed from always being drawn together through fate, but the constant need to push each other apart as if to rebel.

Emma wondered if they were going through one of those “pushing apart” phases or one of those “drawn together” ones. Sometimes, it was hard to tell the difference, because no matter what they ended up together - crying, performing magic, hugging Henry… They ended up together. 

She pulled the car to the side of the road and took a deep breath. She felt the familiar tingle of magic running through her veins and wondered if Regina got this sensation when she was feeling passionately about something. She shrugged it off and waited for the magic to dull before she felt a familiar presence behind her. 

“Heard you're looking for the Evil Queen?”

“Again, _not_ evil,”

Mr. Gold rolled his eyes. “Do you want my help or not?”

“How about… _Not_ ,”

“You insolent child,” There was no meanness in his words, but instead, resigned frustration. “I wonder what the mayor sees in you exactly,” he tilted his head with a pitiful expression lingering on his lips. "Though, I'll admit... That hidden potential? I sort of see it," 

“Why are you here?” she snapped, almost mimicking Regina's tone when she spoke to the man.

“Regina happens to be a...friend, as you said. I'd love to offer up some help,”

“You literally said the opposite just yesterday,” Emma narrowed her eyes at his reflection in the mirror. “What do you want?”

“To help,” he wrinkled his nose up. "Aren't you listening to me?"

“In exchange for what, Gold? What's the catch? You don't help without strings attached or loopholes or your usual bullshit tricks,”

“Now that you mention it... How about a favor?”

“Nope. Way too vague. You say a favor now and then pretty soon you’re stealing all my blood or my hair or something freaky. Nope. No way,”

Gold pulled a face, clearly showing how disgusted he was with, not only the potential demands Emma had listed, but the implications that he would do such a thing. “Are you desperate to find the mayor or not?”

Emma certainly was. It was dark now and for all she knew, Regina could have gone “Evil Queen Mode” and was burning and slaughtering all the dwarves where they stood. “What do you want? And be specific,”

“I want Regina’s darkness,”

“Come again?”

Gold sighed, exasperated that he had to explain it. “When Regina dies, the darkness will cling to her still heart. I’d like to extract it and take it on as my own,”

“And why exactly?” she frowned. "Is everyone in this town collecting hearts or something?"

"Power!" he practically shouted at her, swinging a fist in the hair with eyes glistening as he thought about it all. “Think of the power, hm? The Evil Queen’s dead, dark heart has a great supply of it,” 

Emma tensed at the words. “And what if she doesn’t die?”

“Ah, hope. One of the more annoying traits of a Charming,” Gold sighed again. He pursed his lips and ran his fingers against the handle of the cane he still carried around as a reminder of his past. Was the vault now a reminder of Regina's? “The mayor's darkness will be mine once she’d dead and, in return, I’ll aid in your little chase,” 

Emma puffed out her chest, proudly. “I could do the spell on my own, you know? I don’t need you,”

“I suppose, but I’ll also throw in a...sort of _pledge_ that I’ll assist in helping out magically, if I can, whenever you need help dealing with the mayor’s more daunting side effects,”

 _That_ was a tempting offer, but Emma knew she couldn’t just auction off the mother of her child’s heart. What sort of person would she be? Not only selling Regina’s organs while they were still in use, but also, aiding in supplying the Dark One with more power as if he needed it. 

“I can’t do that to - “

“Yes, I’m quite aware. Let me help you find her, first. Free of charge and then we’ll see what the mayor wants, yes?” he grinned devilishly. It was almost as if he could predict the former queen’s response to such a question. 

\----

They found Regina on the docks, hiding away on a boat as she watched the waves crash against the side of sand, rocks, and wood. The sky was a dull grey that alerted the citizens of the small town that a storm was coming, but Regina couldn’t have cared less. With her feet propped up, she sat on the top of the boat and felt the waves rock her gently. It was only when she heard the familiar sound of Emma Swan approaching did she actually move. 

“You shouldn’t be here,”

“I think this is exactly where I have to be right now, Gina,” 

“I’m just going to hurt you or Henry or Mary Margaret or Charming…” Her voice trailed on. “Leave me be,”

“You can’t hurt me,” Emma said defiantly and at that, Regina jumped up. With one big step, she had already invaded Emma’s space, making the blonde’s heart pick up in speed, and stared into her emerald green eyes. Emma knew what Regina was doing. Whenever she pushed, the older woman pushed back harder and with much more skill. She was great at poking and playing with weaknesses and Emma wondered if Regina was going to prod at her’s. 

“You sure about that?” The queen’s voice was strangely husky and deep yet soft. Her warm breath hit Emma’s ear and an involuntary shiver ran up her spine. 

The blonde cleared her throat. “Um, duh,” So, it wasn't the _most appropriate response_ , but it caused Regina to take a small step back as if to analyze the situation and plan a form of attack that would be much more beneficial. 

“How’d you find me?”

“Gold,”

“In exchange for…?”

“Well, um, this time it was free, but next time, he’s offering magical assistance for your care in exchange for your heart once it's...well, like, dead and dark and stuff,”

“Have I ever told you that you speak quite eloquently?”

“Shut up,” 

Regina watched her expression for a moment. “You should take the deal. The darkness is going to move my hand to do things I’d rather not do. If you have Gold at your side, it is possible he can stop me,” 

“What about me? I’m pretty sure I can stop you if you’re about to do something bad, you know? I’m kind of a big deal and all being the Savior,”

Her brown eyes softened. “Oh, Miss Swan, do you really think if I held a fireball near one of your mother’s precious dwarves you’d have the ability to kill me? No. You are too much of a hero to do such a thing,”

“To save a life, I’d - “

“You wouldn’t kill me. You’d probably take a page out of your mother’s book and believe that with hope and love and trust, I wouldn’t burn people to ash. It would be a lovely sentiment and true testament to how far we have come as _friends_ , as you say, but you wouldn’t kill me,”

“Why?” Emma already knew the answer and she wondered why she was even asking in the first place. Maybe it was to discover if the brunette knew the truth or to hear the words aloud, Emma wasn’t sure. 

“You can’t hurt me,” the woman replied bluntly. “Gold can. He can provide protection if, in my madness, I threaten anyone’s life. You should take him up on his offer before the price steepens. Next, he could be asking for Henry’s heart or your’s,” She cringed as if the implication of Gold hurting Emma or Henry burned through her like one of her fireballs. 

“You sure?”

The older woman nodded. “Now that’s settled, will you leave?” 

Emma smirked, playfully, taking a step forward. She was tired of Regina always having control of the way they moved. It was Regina who invaded Emma’s bubble. It was Regina who backed out or moved away. For once, Emma wanted some control. 

“Nope. Not without my queen,”

It could have been Emma’s imagination, but she was sure the brunette blushed. 

“It’s not safe,”

“You just said Gold could - “

“It’s still not safe,” Her lips tightened into a frown. “I don’t want to hurt Henry. I don’t want to hurt…” They both knew how that sentence was going to end. “Perhaps, it’s best if I’m isolated in my sickness. My memories of my past are not the best. What is to happen to you two if suddenly a domestic morning with pancakes triggers the Evil Queen? Or in the midst of dinner, I snap into a memory of Leopold?” She shuddered at the name. “What if Gold is not quick enough to help out? What if I - ” 

“You can’t hurt me,” 

They had repeated back the same phrase with the same defiance multiple times in their conversation and now the four words hung over them like a promise or a declaration. Both knew it was entirely possible everything could end in heartbreak. After all, both had scars on their skin but thicker, uglier ones on their hearts. But for some reason, they almost pledged not to allow this relationship to combust into flames and end in shambles like they’re past ones had. _You can’t hurt me_ was beginning to sound a Hell of a lot more like _I won’t hurt you_ in their heads. And they nodded at this unspoken promise.


End file.
